Why leaders say "I'm fine" when they're not

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Do you know why so many leaders and people say "I'm fine" when they're really not?

They do it because they've learned to stomach everything. Stomach their worries. Stomach the bad news. Stomach the ongoing stressors and uncertainties that come with the privilege of being a leader.

It could be with the best intentions: to shield others from chaos. To protect others from worrying. To not allow their disposition to affect the morale of the team.


You may be thinking, "Tracey, certainly pretending to be fine can have it's merits, but how will this chronic "I'm fineness" affect the leader over time?"

Great question, you are very astute.

Let me take us down a path I often go on with clients who are "I'm fine" people (sometimes they try to do it with me, the audacity!).

I'm no doctor or health coach by any stretch, but I do have a fervent love of eastern medicine.

Through many years of studying the likes of Dr. Mark Hyman, Gabor Mate, Bezel van der Kolk, Caroline Myss and Joe Dispenza...and coaching hundreds of people from all walks of life....

I've seen that there is an undisputable correlation between physical disease (and healing) and a person's emotional, behavioral, and spiritual patterns.


Come let me show you an example.

An amazing person and successful entrepreneur was experiencing stomach pain.

Over time, this kind of energetic repression of 'being fine' outwardly gets pushed internally to the stomach, and can result in an physical problem.

The emotion of the stomach, in Traditional Chinese Medicine (tcm) is Worry. And worry causes a cascade of other emotions like anxiety, fear, and ruminating.

Some great coaching questions are: What worries in your business and life are at the top of your mind? What's the one thing that keeps you up at night right now? What could Worry be trying to tell you or show you?

There are also behavioral patterns that affect the health of the stomach.

  • A person who is hyperactive. Overworking. Overactive.
  • The belief and feeling of "never enough" or "never finished" or "not good enough"
  • Having no time to digest the day's emotions, activities, and experiences.

Some great coaching questions are: What is it costing you to keep overworking like this? How is the belief of not being enough impacting your relationships? What's the lesson in the stomach pain, do you think?


We all have habits of pretending to be fine, the intention of this article is to say that you also need a space where you can digest, process, and move through what's going on. It will make you incredibly more powerful, authentic, and healthier -- which is the goal, right?

Two Ways To Go Deeper

  1. Register NOW! to join my five-class series on leadership and personal growth [begins October 13!]
  2. Apply for a coaching session to create more success and wellbeing in your life


I am by no means saying that coaching is the cure to healing disease. I am adding to the conversation that coaching can help transform the root causes of disease alongside any and all healing treatments.

Email me at tracey@livlitceo.com and let me know what new awareness this article sparked within you. I respond to every email!

I love you, let's go.

xx Tracey

CEO, Co-Founder and Master Coach with Liv.Lit!

PS Watch my latest video on How to Communicate Tough News

PPS Register to join any of my five, live, and free classes in leadership and personal growth [full class description here]

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