How to Stop Being Triggered and Start Speaking Effectively

Many people are affected by the lockdown, Covid-19, homeschooling the kids and other stresses that impacted our quality of life. When we disagree on political or social issues with someone, people often jump either into arguing/anger or quiet/avoiding in how they speak. 

Luckily conflict resolution and communication are huge passions of mine, because they help people transcend their issues and start speaking and acting in a way that gets their needs met and ideas heard.

So, what can you do the next time you’re triggered by someone else’s opinion?!

My Best Tip: Choose An Emotion

First, you need to honestly ask yourself: “What kind of person do I want to be when I speak about this topic?” 

Do you want to be known as the feisty bundle of fury whenever someone disagrees with you? Do you want to shout? To cry? To have your throat chakra close up, so that people think you agree?

What you can do is choose an emotion that helps you show up in a better light. 

If you’re anger, fiery or in a highly charged emotion - do NOT pick “calm”. You need to pick an equally ‘charged’ emotion like excited or passionate to match that energy,

If you tend to be silent, pick an emotion like courageous or curious - to help you speak up. 

You can try repeating these sentences inside of your head before you start the conversation: 

“I want to be excited.”

“I want to be calm.”

“I want to be courageous.”

“I want to be grounded.”

The Best Tip: Say the phrase “Help me understand”

Want a ninja communication sentence?!

When you’re talking to someone who is not on the same page as you - take a step back and say, “Help me understand where you’re coming from” or “Help me understand what you need today.” 

Stop talking and listen. When you say, “help me understand” it’s asking someone to share more deeply their perspective, their beliefs, their truth. It gives you so much valuable information before YOU speak - and you can use their words and stories as part of your  response to help them start to understand you.

This is a ninja communication move that I hope you try.

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